We received a record number of nominations in July for The Satellite of Love's Parents of the Year Contest, presented by Bacon Strips Adhesive Bandages (For that wound that just isn't gross enough). Everyday I painstakingly went through the letters and e-mails, just waiting for the the right parent to speak to me and I finally found her. Crystal Henry of Arlington, TX. Crystal is a hard working, single mother who manages to survive on a meager cashier's salary, working 20-plus hours a week at Albertson's. "Ya know, I used to be an exotic dancer and I was a pretty good one too! When I was growin' up, folks used to say that Crystal sounded like a stripper's name and I thought that was the best compliment that any one could give me. So I made it my goal to become a stripper...I mean exotic dancer.", she said. Crystal's dream did come true but it also came to an abrupt ending. Like many "dancers", Crystal got caught up in the glamorous lifestyle of money, men and drugs. She was forced to retire after only 12 years of stripping...I mean dancing. Crystal had permanently damaged her buttocks from thousands of heroin injections to her right cheek. Crystal explained, "My ass was lopsided. One side was all nice and smooth and the other was all scarred up and stuff, y'all". She knew that no hard-working man would want to give up his weekly wage to see a "dancer" with, what she called, "a funked up trunk". So, she did what any lopsided-assed, heroin using, stripper would do, she started using meth. After months of meth use, she realized that it wouldn't bring back her career so she went cold-turkey, waking up one day to find that she actually had a daughter, who was a bi-product of her insane meth use. Crsytal said, "She was like 5 or 6 weeks old before I knew I even had a daughter. She didn't even have a name, so I called her Crystal Jr. cuz she was so beautiful, like me." Crystal, now clean and unemployed, except for her cashier's job, started teaching the art of "dance" to little Crystal Jr. "I don't want her to end up like me", she sobbed, "Little Crystal is gonna have a job and she's gonna be the best damn dancer in the Metroplex". She starts everyday with a vigorous routine, teaching young Crystal lap dancing, table dancing and of course, pole dancing, so that one day she won't have to "live the life of a f*ckin' Albertson's cashier". I believe we need more Crystal Henry's in this world, dedicated to making sure that their children have the right training to make it out there. From everyone at The Satellite and Bacon Strips Adhesive Bandages, we say "Good job, Crystal! Keep up the great work"
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