The Satellite of Love: Green Terrorism

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Friday, January 29, 2010

Green Terrorism

In a new message released today, Osama Bi Laden called for the world to "boycott" all American goods and the U.S. dollar. Osama, who was attending a cave warming party in Southern Afghanistan, took time to address reporters, blaming the U.S. for global warming and asked everyone to help "stop the wheels of the American economy". He went on to blame America for world hunger, desertification and flooding across the globe and called for "drastic solutions" to global warming. After a couple Jager Bombs and sucking the helium from a few balloons, Bin Laden then went on to brand the U.S. for various other "crimes against humanity" like, Bon Jovi, Paris Hilton and "Grey's Anatomy". Bin Laden, trying to hurry back to the party then said, "Praise Allah" and "Death to America" and disappeared into the cave for his turn with the beer bong.