The Satellite of Love: Germany's Most Wanted

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Germany's Most Wanted

A recent traffic stop on The Autobahn has turned into a manhunt. Captain Frans Scrathinsniff thought it was just a routine stop when he noticed "some clown" swerving from lane to lane. Quickly engaging the driver, he pulled him over and found, to his surprise, a real clown. The clown in question, only known by his first name, Oscar, was given a field sobriety test. But as soon as Captain Scratchinsniff turned away to call for back up, Oscar ran into the dark country side. Upon searching the clown's 1992 Volkswagen Jetta police found 15 more clowns, a midget, a goat, rock singer Doro Pesch, a bearded lady, and a David Hasselhoff look-alike all with small amounts of heroin hidden within their nether-regions. Police tracked the size 22 clown footprints about 3 kilometers before they disappeared in a creek and they are asking for your help in apprehending this clown. If you see a clown that looks tweaked out on heroin with a rainbow colored wig running through the German country side please do not approach him he could be armed with a squirting flower lapel pin or an endless chain of colored handkerchiefs coming from his sleeve. Please call local authorities if you know his whereabouts.

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