Return of the Jihad

A special production of "Star Wars" is in the works from Al Qaida, in yet another effort to boost troop morale on the frontlines in Afghanistan. Osama Bin Laden has asked all citizens who are not fighting to volunteer in some way. Twenty-two women showed up at an open casting call, all coveting the role of Princess Leia. While most were turned away or killed for showing too much wrist, these 5 beautiful women will compete to be the leading lady. After a winner is announced, the remaining 4 were promised roles as Jawas. It is rumored that Bin Laden, himself, may take on the role of Obi Wan Kenobi, but only after some minor script changes. Chief Screenwriter, Abdul Salam Azini says, "We want Osama's character, Obi Wan, to kill the evil Sith Lord Barack and then fly his x-fighter spacecraft thing, loaded with C4, into the heart of the Death Star on a suicide mission that will earn him 1000 virgins." Azini then went on to say "Praise Allah!" and "Death to America" and we were escorted off the set.