Local Fireman Saves City

News from San Angelo, TX was not so joyful today. A giant 40-foot red-headed woman invaded the small Texas town located on the Concho River. After communication was established by authorities, the giant only had one demand. She was hungry. City officials tried everything, from a tanker truck full of decaf mocha latte to a trailer packed with five dollar footlongs. But it wasn't enough to satisfy the insatiable hunger of the wicked beast. In a moment of anger and desperation the giant picked up a group of firemen to devour. All of the firemen and maybe the whole city would have been lost if not for the courage and valor of one of the firemen. Max Childress, who has been with the fire department for a decade, yelled to the giant "Take me and leave the others!" The giant obliged and ate the 35 year-old father of 2 and husband. But after tasting how cold and bitter the brave fireman was she choked and fell to her death crushing the Wal-Mart in the process. Plans have already been made to construct a memorial to honor the horrible tasting fireman who saved San Angelo, but not before a new Wal-Mart is built.