The Satellite of Love: Coming to Theaters

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Friday, December 18, 2009

Coming to Theaters

This Hanukkah in theaters everywhere, except overly-populated Muslim neighborhoods, from Executive Producer Mel Gibson, comes "American Ninjew". Joaquin Pheonix stars in this action-adventure as Ishmail Finkelstein, a Jewish kid who grew up in Nebraska and was teased and ridiculed by all the Christian kids in his small farming community. Escaping to New York City as an adult, he learns that the Big Apple is full of Arabs who harbor even more hatred than the farmboys back home. He then is taught the ways of Jew-jitsu from an elderly hotdog stand owner played by Woody Allen and sets out to crush all the anti-semetic evildoers in New York one turbin at a time. Gene Shalat says "SHALOM!" and Roger Ebert gives "American Ninjew" 2 thumbs, a circle snap and a pelvic thrust. This December "the dreidel will rock".