The Satellite of Love: Random Act of Vader

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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Random Act of Vader

Five priests were brutally murdered on the streets of Newark, N.J. today. There has been no arrest made as of yet but all clues point towards Darth Vader. Vader is seen here stalking the clergymen as they arrive at mass. They had just eaten lunch at Luby's when Vader sped by in a black Chevy Camaro and pulled into the church's parking lot. As for Vader's motive, some believe he was upset by the church's use of the name "Lord", others think he might have mistaken the priests for Jedis. What Vader doesn't know is that wearing a long robe and speaking about a hokey, ancient religion doesn't mean you're a Jedi. If you see Vader please do not approach or try to apprehend him. Vader is wanted in connection to hundreds of murders and the complete destruction of Alderon. Contact either the Newark Police Department or Coruscant Crime Stoppers if you know of his whereabouts. There is a reward of 1000 Republic credits.